dear WHORANGE,
can i ever look like this?
love,
anonymous
***************************
dear darling anonymous,
yes, you can! in fact, you can look like this today, tomorrow, or any day in between. your body is already smashing (at WHORANGE, we love them all), so the primary focus is the butterfly bonnet.
keep in mind, this bonnet was constructed by alexander mcqueen, but rest assured, we can cobble one together for much cheaper. just keep your mind open and your expectations low.
okay, pour yourself a cocktail and let's boogie.
1. glue a hollowed out styrofoam ball half (big enough for the crown of your head) to the inside of a flowery swimming cap.
2. hot glue butterflies to floral wire (i prefer 32 gauge), or purchase preaffixed butterflies, which are available at most craft stores.
3. using a wide sewing needle, poke holes in swimming cap. poke butterfly wire ends through cap and styrofoam.
4. bend end of wires so they are flush with the underside of styrofoam.
5. once you've poked all of the butterflies through, duct tape wires to the underside of styrofoam to cover wires. glue a piece of fabric on top of the duct tape (optional).
6. apply lip plumper, eye shimmer pigment in old gold, photo finish lipstick in lavish, black liquid liner in angel heart, and false lashes.
7. strip naked.
8. press tape across your chest and pose accordingly.
(questions, queries, or dilemmas? drop me a line at tula@whorange.net. if you begin your email with "dear WHORANGE., your hair looks fantastic today," you may receive a speedier reply).
get email updates
Love this look! It's perfect for a dressy day at work, your best friend's wedding, or a kids birthday party!
(Ms. Tula! You seriously give directions on how to put this together?!! You're too divine!)
Posted by: Uncle Beefy | October 20, 2008 at 07:35 AM
Oh boy... This is very involved. I'm afraid the tape across the chest would detract attention from the butterflies nesting on my head.
I would like to pour myself a cocktail, tho. Darn AM rule...:)
Posted by: helen:) | October 20, 2008 at 08:40 AM
Now THAT is a craft worth my time! I love how the swimming caps come in an array of fabulous colors!
Posted by: June Bug Jim | October 20, 2008 at 09:02 AM
Hot damn! I've got myself a Halloween costume!
Posted by: erin@designcrisis | October 20, 2008 at 09:12 AM
Holy sh*t! I can't believe you made Anonymous's dream come true. You are hilarious! And officially brilliant!
Posted by: Ramona | October 20, 2008 at 09:25 AM
too funny - i want to make something like this. thanks for the diy!
Posted by: ann | October 20, 2008 at 11:05 AM
I just spit coffee all over my boss's computer screen. You are going to get me in trouble. This is beyond awesome!
Posted by: Cynthia Reed | October 20, 2008 at 11:27 AM
You missed a step:
9. Shave pubes.
Posted by: Lady Peacock | October 20, 2008 at 03:05 PM
Ha! I've been reading your blog for a long time and I must say, you are ridiculously funny. I thought your Chinese gymnast post was good, but this one takes the cake!
Posted by: Princess Crafty | October 20, 2008 at 03:22 PM
Adds new meaning to the phrase 'tit tape'...
Posted by: paola | October 22, 2008 at 03:08 PM