WHORANGE

check your weekend bag

poolside read -- check

eyeshadow -- check

fish in a tin -- check

14K gold retainer necklace -- double check

{available here.}

the real housewives of planet xeon

courtesy of jean paul gaultier, fall 2010.

{via chateau thombeau and coutorture.}

things to do this summer...

so far, i've gotten as far as the dress, the cherries, and the wine.

{above left to right from top:  two-wheeler shirtdress 128.00;  carrie bike basket 89.00;  baker cloche hat 34.00;  napa valley wine tote 12.00;  old school penny farthing bike messenger bag (34.00);  cherries (local farmers market);  renovo hardwood bicycle.}

jack spade jaws bag

"i'll catch this bird for you, but it ain't gonna be easy. bad fish. not like going down the pond chasin' bluegills and tommycods. this shark, swallow you whole."

-- captain quint (jaws, 1975)

fab film + fab designer = killer bag

{jack spade industrial canvas jaws coal bag available here.  via uncrate.}

forbidden fruit

picked at the height of perfection.

{via ana-lee.}

topshop tabletop makeup

even if neon rose blush, blue lagoon glitter, and yellow shadow aren't part of your make-me-pretty palette, take solace in knowing they will look absolutely fabulous spilled across your tabletop.

{topshop makeup available here via blink blink.}

(re)cycled style: tweed ride brooklyn

 

thanks to the fabulous fine and dandy shop, i discovered the splendid tweed ride which flourishes in various cities across the country from brooklyn to portland.

the tweed ride embraces dapper cycling attire (not a stitch of spandex in sight!) and celebrates the joy of the ride instead of the pressure of competition.  so whether you are a newbie in a seersucker suit or a pro in croquet couture, you're sure to be looking dandy and riding high.

i hope the tweed ride comes to los angeles soon!  can't wait to get my knickers in a twist.

{brooklyn tweed ride images via sonic ribbon.}

casual friday

it's casual friday, darlings.

dress appropriately.

{dress code via chateau thombeau, of course.}

picnic with the drapers: an eco-friendlier outing

this summer promises a heavy dose of sunshine and an addictive dose of new mad men.

now, for those of us who remember summer picnics with the drapers in season 2, we know that betty & don are not the cleanest campers.  sure, their hair may look fantastic, but lobbing beers cans into the park and dumping picnic rubbish on the grass made our pretty pair look pretty ugly.

therefore, this season, i propose a sustainable outing with biodegradable plates and cups, compostable utensils, and groovy gear that betty wouldn't dare leave behind.

although, this year i suppose betty is leaving don behind.  that's okay, betty...i'll take mr. draper home with me.

{left to right from the top:  save the date dress (99.99);  retro flask (£18.75 each);  blyton red tea picnic tin (£70.00);  kate spade charlize sunglasses (148.00);  compostable fork, knife & spoon (prices vary);  biodegradable cold cups (prices vary);  kissing rabbits picnic blanket (£36.00);  biodegradable plates, bowls, & trays (prices vary);  vintage plastic divided plates and cups (8.00).

a Divine mother's day gift guide

with mother's day just around the corner, i wanted to shine a glittering spotlight on two of my favorite cinematic moms:  francine fishpaw of polyester and edna turnblad of hairspray.   portrayed to perfection by the multi-fabulous Divine, both mothers overcome adversity in the land of pretty people and cruel cats.

in addition, motherhood poses a handful of harrowing hurdles for these sassy ladies -- from town slut daughters and foot fetish sons, to cheating pornographer husbands and teenage runaways.  mama's bouffant can only handle so much pressure.

so let's give them something special this sunday.  in addition, let's honor the late, great Divine for embodying mothers, and women with sass and crass, who are larger than life:

above:  gifting a leopard print damaris silk-chiffon playsuit (145.00) and leopard gloves (250.00) may not be appropriate for some mothers, but when your mother is divine, it's inappropriate not to;  a one day princess tiara (30.00) and elva fields brass & pearl necklace (168.00) is the perfect pairing for any mother's day portrait;  music for tv dinners (59.98) complements mom's microwave meatloaf and pedro garcia's cha cha cha (7.99) is the best way to burn off the guilt;  no need for mom to shoplift a slab of meat beneath her dress (as divine demonstrated in pink flamingos) when she can have a shoplifter tote bag (25.00);  replenish mom's supply of tokyomilk dead sexy perfum (28.00) and make up forever's feather-tipped eyelashes (15.00) -- she'll thank you for it;  teroforma whiskey rocks and glasses (60.00) keeps her favorite booze chilled;  and, divine's never ending wish for cha cha heels will be fulfilled with a pair of go see platforms (114.99) and discolilou christian louboutins (895.00).

 

above:  francine fishpaw can give the pesky paparazzi a taste of their own medicine with an optrixx camera profile (10.00);  jonathan adler's hashish candle (68.00) is second best to polyester's odorama card;  meals will no longer be a mystery with these retro recipe cards (9.95) and sandwich shaped cake pan (28.00);  no home is complete without a set of pink lawn flamingos (59.99);  bacon toothpicks (2.50) provide bacon zest without the greasy mess;  and finally, a table saw cake cutter (9.00) -- perfect for birthdays or breaking out of jail.  after all, mom likes to be prepared for all occasions.

love you, Divine.  you are a true WHORANGE hero.  xoxo

part deux: bambi heels by jean-charles de castelbajac

i'd like to thank my gal pal lisa for revealing the creator of my coveted deer heels.  as it turns out, the designer is jean-charles de castelbajac, who also masterminded lady gaga's kermit cape.

mr. JC/DC debuted his doe-eyed shoes as part of his fall 2010 bambi-motif, ready-to-wear line.

i have to admit, i am really not ready to wear full-blown bambi frocks.  however, the antler headdresses and deer heels are calling my name -- the perfect accessories to take me from office to evening!

thanks, JC/DC!

{images via ny magazine and buzznet.}

oh, deer

i am willing to do evil things for these shoes.

{photography by the cobrasnake via playfast.}

tricks of the trade

...because sometimes product is a girl's best friend.

{vintage advertisements from Ty i Ja (You and Me magazine).} {via chateau thombeau.}

packin': sarah william's suitcase metamorphosis

london college of fashion graduate student, sarah williams, created these superbly swell suitcases for her MA project “crafted fashion”.

albeit small, i believe each suitcase will fit at least one kimono and a few pairs of panties.  and when you're a gal on the go, what more do you really need?

{via playfast.}