kittens, it's that time of the year again -- OSCARS!

i confess, i have watched every academy award show since the beginning of time. the red carpet is my drug of choice. i even watch pre-red carpet coverage, because i am insane. 

AND, i have won every oscar pool (with the exception of one) for the past 15 years. because i love you, i am going to post my predictions here and hope that nobody at my oscar party steals my picks. i'm living life on the edge and i'm doing it for YOU, darlings!

feel free to use my psychic gift for your oscar party ballot. just split your spoils with me 50/50. you can pay me in gold and/or non-conflict diamonds.

please note, i have seen every film with the exception of american sniper. my favorite films were grand budapest hotel and whiplash. that being said, they will not win best picture. the key to winning the oscar pool is to vote with your head and not your heart.

okay, enough chit-chat. let's boogie on down to the WHORANGE ballot:

best picture: birdman

best director: richard linklater (boyhood)

best actor: eddie redmayne (theory of everything)

best actress: julianne moore (still alice)

best supporting actor: jk simmons (whiplash)

best supporting actress: patricia arquette (boyhood)

best adapted screenplay: the imitation game (graham moore)

best original screenplay: grand budapest hotel (wes anderson and hugo guinness)

best animated feature: how to train your dragon 2 (should be the lego movie...bastards!)

documentary feature: citizenfour

foreign language film: ida

best cinematography: birdman (emmanuel lubezki)

best costume design: grand budapest hotel (milena canonero)

best film editing: boyhood (sandra adair)

best makeup & hair styling: grand budapest hotel (frances hannon and mark coulier)

best production design: grand budapest hotel (adam stockhausen [production design] and anna pinnock [set decoration])

best original score: theory of everything (jóhann jóhannsson)

best sound editing: american sniper (alan robert murray and bub asman)

best sound mixing: whiplash (craig mann, ben wilkins and thomas curley)

best visual effects: interstellar (paul franklin, andrew lockley, ian hunter and scott fisher)

best animated short: feast (patrick osborne and kristina reed)

best documentary short: crisis hotline: veterans press 1

best live action short: the phone call

there you go, darlings. now go primp for the red carpet!

{top image: fake oscar statue photography by whorange. background art by brandi strickland.}